These tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Electronic, Distributed Configurations
A. Grant, Ida Noe and Rob O. Dewey
The extensive unification of Byzantine fault tolerance and SMPs has investigated
flip-flop gates, and current trends suggest that the study of agents will soon emerge.
In our research, we verify the evaluation of linked lists, which embodies the essential
principles of cryptoanalysis. Here we prove that Markov models and superpages can
synchronize to fulfill this objective.
Table of Contents
Unified ubiquitous communication have led to many natural advances, including
the partition table and lambda calculus. In this position paper, we prove the improvement
of access points, which embodies the technical principles of cyberinformatics. We
emphasize that our application is NP-complete. Unfortunately, the Ethernet alone
cannot fulfill the need for the partition table. A confusing solution to realize
this intent is the understanding of IPv4. The drawback of this type of approach,
however, is that cache coherence and Moore's Law are often incompatible. It might
seem unexpected but entirely conflicts with the need to provide SCSI disks to theorists.
Though previous solutions to this grand challenge are good, none have taken the
"smart" method we propose in this work. It should be noted that Bevy should be enabled
to harness heterogeneous theory. Existing flexible and scalable systems use Boolean
logic to locate introspective epistemologies. As a result, we present an analysis
of suffix trees (Bevy), which we use to argue that evolutionary programming and
I/O automata can synchronize to solve this challenge. Systems engineers mostly study
robots in the place of the lookaside buffer. Though conventional wisdom states that
this quagmire is always surmounted by the synthesis of scatter/gather I/O, we believe
that a different approach is necessary .
Continuing with this rationale, existing concurrent and authenticated systems use
extensible communication to request IPv6. Thusly, we explore a highly-available
tool for visualizing local-area networks (Bevy), arguing that local-area networks
and kernels are generally incompatible. Our focus in this paper is not on whether
the acclaimed scalable algorithm for the significant unification of the Turing machine
and DNS by Bose and Smith is optimal, but rather on describing an analysis of the
lookaside buffer (Bevy). Contrarily, the construction of courseware might not be
the panacea that security experts expected [20,24,4,12].
On a similar note, we emphasize that our methodology follows a Zipf-like distribution.
On a similar note, it should be noted that our methodology is built on the principles
of relational electrical engineering. This follows from the emulation of link-level
acknowledgements. The rest of the paper proceeds as follows. We motivate the need
for RAID. Further, we place our work in context with the previous work in this area.
We place our work in context with the prior work in this area. As a result, we conclude.
Figure 1: New empathic epistemologies.
Suppose that there exists sensor networks such that we can easily deploy thin
clients. Despite the results by L. Sasaki, we can argue that the transistor and
compilers can connect to fulfill this objective. Although this is rarely a robust
intent, it is buffeted by previous work in the field. Next, any natural exploration
of signed algorithms will clearly require that RPCs can be made "smart", symbiotic,
and interposable; our method is no different. We postulate that each component of
Bevy harnesses the simulation of Byzantine fault tolerance, independent of all other
components. We assume that wide-area networks can visualize electronic theory without
needing to evaluate cooperative information. The question is, will Bevy satisfy
all of these assumptions? Yes, but only in theory .
Reality aside, we would like to evaluate a model for how Bevy might behave in
theory. Despite the results by E.W. Dijkstra et al., we can disconfirm that the
Turing machine can be made cooperative, embedded, and real-time. While information
theorists mostly assume the exact opposite, our algorithm depends on this property
for correct behavior. We show the relationship between Bevy and the confirmed unification
of context-free grammar and checksums in Figure 1.
We carried out a 1-year-long trace demonstrating that our framework holds for most
cases. We use our previously improved results as a basis for all of these assumptions.
In this section, we introduce version 8d, Service Pack 8 of Bevy, the culmination
of days of designing. Bevy requires root access in order to construct hierarchical
databases. Even though we have not yet optimized for performance, this should be
simple once we finish programming the hacked operating system.
4 Results and Analysis
A well designed system that has bad performance is of no use to any man, woman
or animal. We desire to prove that our ideas have merit, despite their costs in
complexity. Our overall performance analysis seeks to prove three hypotheses: (1)
that lambda calculus no longer influences system design; (2) that rasterization
no longer impacts system design; and finally (3) that Smalltalk no longer influences
expected clock speed. Note that we have decided not to simulate mean interrupt rate.
Further, we are grateful for replicated digital-to-analog converters; without them,
we could not optimize for performance simultaneously with interrupt rate. On a similar
note, an astute reader would now infer that for obvious reasons, we have intentionally
neglected to harness average work factor. We hope that this section proves to the
reader the chaos of cryptoanalysis.
Figure 2: The median interrupt rate of Bevy, as a function of
Figure 3: The effective clock speed of our heuristic, compared
with the other frameworks .
4.1 Hardware and Software Configuration
Though many elide important experimental details, we provide them here in gory
detail. We carried out a simulation on the NSA's mobile telephones to prove optimal
configurations' influence on the chaos of electrical engineering. Despite the fact
that such a claim might seem perverse, it is derived from known results. We added
300MB/s of Internet access to our 10-node testbed to investigate communication.
Along these same lines, we doubled the effective RAM throughput of our robust overlay
network to understand our collaborative testbed. Third, we added some tape drive
space to our compact overlay network. Continuing with this rationale, we reduced
the expected signal-to-noise ratio of our 1000-node overlay network to understand
configurations. On a similar note, we tripled the effective floppy disk speed of
our sensor-net testbed. This configuration step was time-consuming but worth it
in the end. In the end, we added 100 2TB tape drives to our Internet-2 overlay network
to prove the randomly symbiotic nature of opportunistically adaptive modalities.
Configurations without this modification showed muted throughput.
Building a sufficient software environment took time, but was well worth it in
the end. We implemented our the producer-consumer problem server in PHP, augmented
with computationally saturated extensions [17,15,1].
We implemented our the Ethernet server in Lisp, augmented with randomly Bayesian
extensions. All software components were compiled using a standard toolchain with
the help of X. C. Brown's libraries for lazily visualizing redundancy. We made all
of our software is available under a Microsoft-style license.
4.2 Dogfooding Bevy
Is it possible to justify the great pains we took in our implementation? No.
Seizing upon this approximate configuration, we ran four novel experiments: (1)
we deployed 84 Commodore 64s across the Internet-2 network, and tested our DHTs
accordingly; (2) we deployed 72 Macintosh SEs across the Internet-2 network, and
tested our Lamport clocks accordingly; (3) we ran active networks on 77 nodes spread
throughout the Planetlab network, and compared them against kernels running locally;
and (4) we measured ROM throughput as a function of floppy disk throughput on a
LISP machine. All of these experiments completed without noticeable performance
bottlenecks or 10-node congestion. We first analyze experiments (3) and (4) enumerated
above as shown in Figure 2.
Error bars have been elided, since most of our data points fell outside of 78 standard
deviations from observed means. Error bars have been elided, since most of our data
points fell outside of 14 standard deviations from observed means. Similarly, of
course, all sensitive data was anonymized during our bioware deployment. We next
turn to experiments (1) and (3) enumerated above, shown in Figure 4.
Note that Figure 3
shows the expected and not 10th-percentile noisy average hit ratio. The curve in
should look familiar; it is better known as F−1Y(n) = n. Note that Figure 3
shows the expected and not expected distributed median seek time. Lastly, we discuss
experiments (3) and (4) enumerated above. This result might seem counterintuitive
but is buffeted by related work in the field. The results come from only 3 trial
runs, and were not reproducible. Second, bugs in our system caused the unstable
behavior throughout the experiments. Next, operator error alone cannot account for
Figure 4: The mean sampling rate of our methodology, compared
with the other systems.
5 Related Work
We now consider related work. While C. Zheng also explored this method, we visualized
it independently and simultaneously. Bevy also stores active networks, but without
all the unnecessary complexity. We had our method in mind before Qian et al. published
the recent seminal work on semantic methodologies. Clearly, despite substantial
work in this area, our method is clearly the methodology of choice among system
The famous heuristic by Robinson and Brown does not prevent decentralized methodologies
as well as our approach [20,22,9,12].
The only other noteworthy work in this area suffers from idiotic assumptions about
the visualization of hash tables. Williams et al. [21,10,19]
suggested a scheme for synthesizing operating systems, but did not fully realize
the implications of authenticated modalities at the time .
Bevy also controls the visualization of the Turing machine, but without all the
unnecessary complexity. John Backus explored several client-server methods, and
reported that they have tremendous effect on the deployment of suffix trees .
All of these solutions conflict with our assumption that DHCP and the improvement
of scatter/gather I/O are compelling .
Martin et al. 
developed a similar system, contrarily we disconfirmed that Bevy runs in Ω(n2) time
Instead of controlling the memory bus [3,7],
we realize this aim simply by refining the unproven unification of XML and active
We had our method in mind before H. Ananthapadmanabhan et al. published the recent
famous work on constant-time symmetries .
Even though this work was published before ours, we came up with the method first
but could not publish it until now due to red tape. Furthermore, H. Jones et al.
developed a similar heuristic, contrarily we showed that our methodology is NP-complete
We plan to adopt many of the ideas from this prior work in future versions of Bevy.
Our experiences with Bevy and the investigation of the producer-consumer problem
demonstrate that the acclaimed wearable algorithm for the refinement of linked lists
by Li and Lee 
runs in Ω(n2) time. We presented a novel method for the synthesis of Boolean logic
(Bevy), confirming that the partition table and object-oriented languages can collaborate
to surmount this problem. We see no reason not to use Bevy for managing pervasive
algorithms. In conclusion, Bevy will surmount many of the challenges faced by today's
hackers worldwide. On a similar note, to accomplish this aim for thin clients, we
introduced a system for the emulation of SCSI disks. While it is continuously an
essential objective, it has ample historical precedence. On a similar note, we also
explored a novel application for the deployment of I/O automata. To realize this
aim for Lamport clocks, we constructed new lossless archetypes. We also presented
a framework for classical theory [4,6].
In the end, we constructed a heuristic for congestion control (Bevy), which we used
to validate that the much-touted secure algorithm for the unfortunate unification
of expert systems and IPv6 
runs in Θ( n ) time.
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Hopefully, you figured
out long before reading all the way to this point that the above content is a hoax.
I read an article about a doctoral student (Mark
Shrime) who decided to test the integrity of 'professional' journals that were
willing to publish papers for aspiring medical experts who live by the old 'publish
or perish' axiom. The writer submitted a paper titled "Cuckoo for cocoa puffs? The
surgical and neoplastic role of cacao extract in breakfast cereals" that was created
by a random text, generator like the one provided by
RandomTextGenerator.com, to come
up with gobbledygook designed to appear as a legitimate work. I used "SCIgen - An Automatic CS Paper Generator,"
which is related to computer science, to generate this mess - complete with figures,
charts, and references. The sad thing is it will be indexed by the major search
engines and might even turn up in somebody's research paper as a reference. A Google
search on "random
paper generator" will turn up many other such devices - some better than others.
MathGen will deliver a really
BS-filled dissertation on mathematics. You supply the faux author names like the
ones I made up: Gimmie A. Grant, Ida Noe and Rob O. Dewey (give me a grant, I don't
know, and rob - oh do we, respectively).
Mr. Shrime's article is worth a quick reading since it describes his successful
effort to expose the fraud of many supposedly legitimate references to published
Depending on the nature of your audience at your next presentation, you might
try slipping one of these papers in-between the real stuff to see how many people
are really paying attention.
Posted on January 27, 2015