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Insidious Computer Viruses

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones) and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3

Here is a list of some of the more insidious computer virus from recent years:
  • Paul Revere Virus - warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\
  • Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus- instantly turns 1 KB of disk space into 1 MB of disk space
  • Ollie North Virus - plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files
  • Joey Buttafuaco Virus - only attacks minor files
  • Sandy Berger Virus - stuffs files into it's folders, then deletes them
  • Denise Austin Virus - attacks your hard drive's FAT
  • Tonya Harding Virus - turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
  • Oprah Winfrey Virus - your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB
  • AT&T Virus - every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
  • MCI Virus - every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus
  • Politically Correct Virus - never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
  • Ross Perot Virus - activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn thing quits
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - terminates and stays resident: it'll be back
  • Government Economist Virus - nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine
  • Federal Bureaucrat Virus - divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer
  • Jane Fonda Virus - aids and abets other viruses on your system while your antivirus program tries to delete them
  • Adam and Eve Virus - takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer
  • Congressional Virus #1 - the computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem
  • Congressional Virus #2 - runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything
  • Airline Virus - you're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore
  • PBS Virus - your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money
  • Jimmy Hoffa Virus - your programs can never be found again

         ...from the DMOZ website humor section (some slightly modified)
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