Insidious Computer Viruses

Engineering & Science Humor - RF CafeThese engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

Here is a list of some of the more insidious computer virus from recent years:

  • Paul Revere Virus - warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\
  • Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus- instantly turns 1 KB of disk space into 1 MB of disk space
  • Ollie North Virus - plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files
  • Joey Buttafuaco Virus - only attacks minor files
  • Sandy Berger Virus - stuffs files into it's folders, then deletes them
  • Denise Austin Virus - attacks your hard drive's FAT
  • Tonya Harding Virus - turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
  • Oprah Winfrey Virus - your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB
  • AT&T Virus - every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
  • MCI Virus - every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus
  • Politically Correct Virus - never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
  • Ross Perot Virus - activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn thing quits
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - terminates and stays resident: it'll be back
  • Government Economist Virus - nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine
  • Federal Bureaucrat Virus - divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer
  • Jane Fonda Virus - aids and abets other viruses on your system while your antivirus program tries to delete them
  • Adam and Eve Virus - takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer
  • Congressional Virus #1 - the computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem
  • Congressional Virus #2 - runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything
  • Airline Virus - you're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore
  • PBS Virus - your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money
  • Jimmy Hoffa Virus - your programs can never be found again

         ...from the DMOZ website humor section (some slightly modified)