Does Your GPA Need a Boost? Try the "Universal Grade Change Form"

This form is posted on many college websites (and students' websites), and therefore must be universally valid. It's in the Internet, so it must be true. Try submitting this to your professor the next time the need arises, and let me know how it goes.

To: (professor/teacher/instructor)________________________

From: _____________________

I think my grade in your course,_________________, should be changed from ___ to ___ for the following reasons:
  1. ____ The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.
  2. ____The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.
  3. ____This course will lower my GPA and I won't get into:
                __Med School
                __Dental School
                __Chiropractic School
                __Acupuncture school
                __Grad School
                __Mickey Mouse Club
  4. ____ I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in ___________.
  5. ____ I'll lose my scholarship.
  6. ____ I'm on a varsity sports team and my coach couldn't find a copy of your exam.
  7. ____ I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.
  8. ____ I studied the basic principles but the exam wanted every little fact.
  9. ____ I studied the facts and definitions but the exam asked about general principles.
  10. ____ I understood the material; I just couldn't do the problems.
  11. ____ I can work the problems, but your exam expected understanding.
  12. ____ You are prejudiced against:
                __ Males      __ Females      __ Protestants __      Chicanos
                __ Jews      __ Catholics      __ Muslims __      People
                __ Blacks      __ Whites      __ Minorities __      Jocks
                __ Students      __ Young people      __ Old people
  13. ____ If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or at least cut my allowance.
  14. ____ I was unable to do well in this course because of the following:
                __ mono      __ acute alcoholism      __ drug addiction
                __ VD      __ broken finger      __pregnancy __ fatherhood
                __ I have allergic reaction to brain work      __ I am intellectually challenged.
  15. ____ You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly how you wanted that done.
  16. ____ I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull.
  17. ____ The lectures were:
               __ too detailed to pick out important points
               __ not explained in sufficient detail      __ all jokes and no material
               __ too boring      __ too serious--not enough entertainment to keep me awake.
  18. ____ All my other profs have agreed to raise my grades.
  19. ____ I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade.
  20. ____ This course was:
               __ too early, I was not awake      __ too late, I was tired
               __ at lunchtime, I was hungry
               __ My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my (book, notes, term paper)
                    for this course.