 These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Humor #1,
#2, #3
A major research institution has recently
announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named
"Administratium."
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons. Since Administratium has no electrons,
it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute
amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when
it would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal
half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Administratium's
mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons
to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of
moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that
Administratium is formed whenever morons reach
a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass." You will know it when you see it. ---Jim Henderson
...and thanks to Cornell for submitting it! |
