These tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
A major research institution has recently
announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
Since Administratium has no electrons,
it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when
it would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal
half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Administratium's
mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons
to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of
moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that
Administratium is formed whenever morons reach
a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass." You will know it when you see it.
...and thanks to Cornell for submitting it!