 These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Humor #1,
#2, #3
Corporate Lesson #1 A man is getting into
the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing
over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs
downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she could say a word, Bob
says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When
she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door
neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he give you the $800 he owes me?" Moral of the
story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you
may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson #2 A sales
representative, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll
give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the
sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina
coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The
manager says, "I want those two back in the office right after lunch." Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say. Corporate Lesson #3 A crow was sitting
on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not?" So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and
rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Corporate Lesson #4
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the
lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after
a fourth night, there he was, proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,
who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bulls**t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
...thanks to Daun Y. for this |
