English Is a Funny Language - More Proof
These tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
- The bandage was wound around the wound.
- The farm was used to produce produce.
- The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
- We must polish the Polish furniture.
- He could lead if he would get the lead out.
- The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
- Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
- When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
- I did not object to the object.
- The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
- There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
- They were too close to the door to close it.
- The buck does funny things when the does are present.
- A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
- To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
- The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
- After a number of injections my jaw got number.
- Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
- I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
- How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
- Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history
but not a single annal?
- If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
- If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
- How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
- Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
- Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?
- Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
- Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
- And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
- English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of
course, isn't a race at all).
...thanks to Steve for this entry, too.