Real Newspaper Ads
These tech-centric jokes,
song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and
websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly
offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Reportedly, these ads actually appeared in
newspapers across the country.
- Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8 years old. Hateful little dog.
- Free Puppies: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel. 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
- Free Puppies: Part German Shepherd. Part stupid dog.
- German Shepherd: 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
- Found: Dirty little white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out awhile. Better be reward.
- 1 Man, 7 Woman Hot Tub:$850/offer.
- Snow Blower For Sale: Only used on snowy days.
- 2 Wire Mesh Butchering Gloves: one 5-finger, one 3-finger. Pair: $15.
Tickle Me Elmo: Still in box. Comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5L, auto. Excellent condition.
- $6800 Cows, Calves never bred, also one gay bull for sale.
- Nordic Track: $300. Hardly used. Call Chubby.
- Bill's Septic Cleaning: We haul American made products.
- Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club.
- Georgia Peaches: California grown. 89 cents per lb.
- Nice Parachute: Never opened. Used once.
- Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9
- Exercise equipment: Queen size mattress and box springs. $175.
- Joining Nudist Colony! Must sell washer and dryer. $300.
- Lawyer says client is not that guilty. Alzheimer's Center prepares for an affair to remember.
- Free To Good Home: Adorable black cat, spayed, front paws removed.
- Open House: Body Shapers Toning Salon. Free coffee and donuts.
- For Sale By Owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or
best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything!
- Chester Drawers: Perfect for child's bedroom, six drawers, $50.