Random Technology Humor

These engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."
I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go something like this: Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"
Computers must be female, because ...
   - As soon as you have one, a better one is just around
      the corner.
   - Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to
      memory for future reference.
   - The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as
      informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you,
      then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
   - As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
      spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
Computers must be male, because ...
   - They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
   - They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
   - In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
   - It is always necessary to have a backup.
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Theory is when you think you know something but it doesn't work. Practice is when something works but you don't know why. Usually we combine theory and practice: nothing works and we don't know why.
If you ask electronics engineer " To be or not to be ?" , his answer will be "One!" How come?
(send me an e-mail if you can't figure it out)