# Technical Punography

These tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

One of Melanie's old (and getting older...) college friends posted this list on Facebook. There is evidently no end to the amount of cleverness out there. Enjoy.

• I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• Math professors are sum worshipers.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
• I put my root beer in a square cup. Now it's just beer.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• I'm reading  a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
• They told me I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.
• PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
• * √ =
• We're going on a class trip to the Coca Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
• Energizer Bunny arrested: Charged with battery.
• What do organic mathematicians throw in their fireplaces? Natural logs.
• How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
• About all I know about algebra is that 1 + 1 = 2.  [that's not algebra]
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• Well, another day has passed. I haven't used algebra once.
• Math is 3 difficult 4 me.
• I have always given 100% at work: 15% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 12% on Thursday, and 10% on Friday.
• Some magnetics engineers are reluctant to cosine a loan.
• I used to hate math, but then I realized decimals have a point.
• Never drink and derive.

Posted  January 29, 2015