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Holzsworth

A Taxing Poem

Engineering & Science Humor - RF CafeThese engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

Pathetic, but true...

Tax his land

Tax his bed

Tax the table At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor

Tax his mule

Teach him taxes Are the rule.

Tax his work

Tax his pay

He works for peanuts Anyway!

Tax his cow

Tax his goat

Tax his pants

Tax his coat.

Tax his ties

Tax his shirt

Tax his work

Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco

Tax his drink

Tax him if he Tries to think.

Tax his cigars

Tax his beers

If he cries Tax his tears.

Tax his car

Tax his gas

Find other ways To tax his ass.

Tax all he has

Then let him know

That you won't be done

Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers

Then tax him more

Tax him till He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin

Tax his grave

Tax the sod in Which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb

'Taxes drove me to my doom...'

When he's gone

Do not relax

It's time to apply

The inheritance tax.

Here are just a few of the taxes you are subject to:

Accounts Receivable Tax

Building Permit Tax

CDL license Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Dog LicenseTax

Excise Taxes

Federal Income Tax

Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax

Fuel Permit Tax

Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)

Gross Receipts Tax

Hunting License Tax

Inheritance Tax

Inventory Tax

IRS Interest Charges

IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)

Liquor Tax

Luxury Taxes

Marriage License Tax

Medicare Tax

Personal Property Tax

Privilege Tax

Property Tax

Real Estate Tax

Service Charge Tax

Social Security Tax

Road Usage Tax

Sales Tax

Recreational Vehicle Tax

School Tax State Income Tax

State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

Telephone Federal Excise Tax

Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax

Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes

Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax

Telephone State and Local Tax

Telephone Usage Charge Tax Use Tax

Utility Taxes

Vehicle License Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Watercraft Registration Tax

Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What in the hell happened? Can you spell 'politicians!' And I still have to 'press 1' for English!?

Holzsworth
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