These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
At New York's Kennedy airport today,
an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator.
Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being
charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Al-Gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go
off on a tangent in a search of absolute value.
They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x"
and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common
denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the great Greek
mathematician Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle, and if God had wanted us to have better
weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.
Therefore, I'm extremely
grateful that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are
so willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard.
These statistic scumbags love to inflict plane on
every sphere of influence.
Under the circumferences, it's time we differentiated their root, made our
point, and drew the line. These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimate everything in their
math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random
facts of vertex.
As our Great Leader would say, "Read my ellipse."
Here is one principle he knows with certainty, they
continue to multiply, their days are numbered and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks.
...thanks to Steve for sending this one!