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Astronomical Aphorisms

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with reproductive function innuendo and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3


  • Plasma is another matter
  • Interstellar matter is a gas
  • It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim!
  • "Apple" (c) 6024 B.C., Adam & Eve
  • "Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton
  • "The faster you go, the shorter you are" - Einstein
  • A stitch in time would have confused Einstein
  • And God said: E = +mv2 - Ze2/r ...and there *WAS* light!
  • All that glitters has a high refractive index
  • Black holes are out of sight
  • Black holes were created when God divided by zero!
  • Black holes really suck...
  • The universe is a big place... perhaps the biggest
  • The Hubbell works fine; all that stuff IS blurry!
  • Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
  • Friction can be a drag sometimes
  • Going the speed of light is bad for your age
  • Gravity:  Not just a good idea...it's the LAW
  • How many weeks are there in a light year?
  • Power corrupts, but we need electricity
  • Resistance is futile!   (If < 1 Ω)
  • Supernovae are a blast

...from the www.xs4all.nl website