Bill's Money

Engineering & Science Humor - RF CafeThese engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

At last count, Bill Gates had an estimated net worth of $42 billion dollars ($42,000,000,000.000.00). He has earned since his birth an average of $32.31 per heartbeat, and this is escalating. He recently donated $200 million to place computers in libraries across the country. This is 1/210 of his wealth. Here are some other things he could do:

  • Pay NBA MVP Michael Jordan's salary for 1,394 years.
  • Give every man, woman and child on the face of the Earth $7.46.
  • Pay every California Lottery prize for the next 34 years.
  • Fund 158 Mars Pathfinder missions.

  • Fund the US Department of Education for 19 years.

  • Pay tuition for the residents of Seattle and Tacoma to go to the University of Washington for four years.
  • Fund the US presence in the Persian Gulf for 11 months.
  • Fund the US peacekeeping forces in Bosnia for 157 years.
  • Buy 233,346,297 copies of Microsoft Windows 95.
  • Buy 1,680,000,000 copies of his own book, buy more with his royalties from those sales, continuing the cycle and easily the best selling author of all time.
  • Make Hanson the most successful musicians of all time by buying 3,529,411,765 copies of "Middle of Nowhere."
  • If he wanted to challenge George Lucas (worth only $2 billion), he could make 227 sequels to "Waterworld," or 35,000 sequels to "Sling Blade."

  • At the median donation for spending a night in the White House, he could stay in the Lincoln Bedroom for 46,300 years.
  • If he wanted to go on a killing spree in Los Angeles County, at the rate that Simpson was charged, he could kill 3,360 people and pay all his attorney fees and punitive damages.
  • At the rate of 1/2 ounce per $27 million, he could pay Mike Tyson to eat 1/5 of Evander Holyfield.
  • He could fly from Seattle to Paris and back on Air France 45,258,621 times.
  • If he wanted to go to a local baseball game, he could buy Seattle Mariners season tickets, all of them, for 411 years, and with his spare change could buy the team and the Kingdome.
  • At Denny's, he could buy a "Grand Slam Slugger Breakfast" for 9,150,326,797 people.
  • If he couldn't get service, he could buy every man, woman and child in China a Big Mac Extra Value Meal, as long as no one "Super Sizes."
  • If they preferred, he could buy 17 billion packages of Top Ramen noodles.
  • He must like coffee, and could buy over 6 billion pounds of French roast at his local Starbuck's.
  • Speaking of a cup of coffee, he could support one of those Sally Struther's foreign kids for 113,341,969 years.
Perhaps what he needs to spend money on most is a new pair of glasses and some hair conditioner.

Author Unknown...