These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Ever wonder why golf is growing in
popularity and why people who don't even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? The following truisms may shed
- Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of players being honorable people who don't need
- Golfers don't have some of their players in jail every week.
- Golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other people.
- Professional golfers are paid in direct proportion to how well they play.
- Golfers don't get per diem and two seats on a charter flight when they travel between tournaments.
- Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player's deal.
Professional golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses on which they play.
- When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or back them.
- The PGA raises more money for charity in 1 year than the NFL does in 2.
- You can watch the best golfers in the world up close, at any tournament, including the majors, all day every
day for $25 or $30. The cost for even a nosebleed seat at the Super Bowl costs around $300 or more unless you
buy it from scalpers in which case it's $1,000+.
- You can bring a picnic lunch to the tournament golf course, watch the best in the world and not spend a
small fortune on food and drink. Try that at one of the taxpayer funded baseball or football stadiums. If you
bring a soft drink into a ballpark, they'll give you two options -- get rid of it or leave.
- In golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9 million a season, like the best baseball hitters (.300
batting average) do.
- Golf doesn't change its rules to attract fans.
- Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each week.
- Golfers keep their clothes on while they are being interviewed.
- Golf doesn't have free agency.
- In their prime, Palmer, Norman, and other stars, would shake your hand and say they were happy to meet you.
In his prime Jose Canseco wore T-shirts that read "Leave Me Alone."
- You can hear birds chirping on the golf course during a tournament.
- At a golf tournament, (unlike at taxpayer-funded sports stadiums and arenas) you won't hear a steady stream
of four letter words and nasty name calling while you're hoping that no one spills beer on you.
- Tiger hits a golf ball over twice as far as Barry Bonds hits a baseball.
- Golf courses don't ruin the neighborhood.
And finally a little slice of golf history that you might enjoy. Why do golf courses have 18 holes - not 20,
or 10, or an even dozen? During a discussion among the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, a senior
member pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one
shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.
to Steve for supplying this one