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Why Golf is the Best Sport for the Fans

Engineering & Science Humor - RF CafeThese engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

Ever wonder why golf is growing in popularity and why people who don't even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? The following truisms may shed some light:

  • Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of players being honorable people who don't need referees.
  • Golfers don't have some of their players in jail every week.
  • Golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other people.
  • Professional golfers are paid in direct proportion to how well they play.
  • Golfers don't get per diem and two seats on a charter flight when they travel between tournaments.
  • Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player's deal.
  • Professional golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses on which they play.
  • When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or back them.
  • The PGA raises more money for charity in 1 year than the NFL does in 2.
  • You can watch the best golfers in the world up close, at any tournament, including the majors, all day every day for $25 or $30. The cost for even a nosebleed seat at the Super Bowl costs around $300 or more unless you buy it from scalpers in which case it's $1,000+.
  • You can bring a picnic lunch to the tournament golf course, watch the best in the world and not spend a small fortune on food and drink. Try that at one of the taxpayer funded baseball or football stadiums. If you bring a soft drink into a ballpark, they'll give you two options -- get rid of it or leave.
  • In golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9 million a season, like the best baseball hitters (.300 batting average) do.
  • Golf doesn't change its rules to attract fans.
  • Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each week.
  • Golfers keep their clothes on while they are being interviewed.
  • Golf doesn't have free agency.
  • In their prime, Palmer, Norman, and other stars, would shake your hand and say they were happy to meet you. In his prime Jose Canseco wore T-shirts that read "Leave Me Alone."
  • You can hear birds chirping on the golf course during a tournament.
  • At a golf tournament, (unlike at taxpayer-funded sports stadiums and arenas) you won't hear a steady stream of four letter words and nasty name calling while you're hoping that no one spills beer on you.
  • Tiger hits a golf ball over twice as far as Barry Bonds hits a baseball.
  • Golf courses don't ruin the neighborhood.

And finally a little slice of golf history that you might enjoy. Why do golf courses have 18 holes - not 20, or 10, or an even dozen? During a discussion among the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, a senior member pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.

---thanks to Steve for supplying this one

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