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You Know You're a Ham When...

Engineering Humor - RF CafeThese tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

This list came from the Portland Amateur Radio Club website, that notes: "Originated by Mike Lazaroff KB3RG. Downloaded from the 'Wireless Institute of Australia, New South Wales Division' Web Pages on the Internet, and slightly Anglicised by myself.

  • The only time you get up at 6am is for a hamfest.
  • You know you can run all your home appliances on your equipment back-up battery.
  • Someone in a Music shop asks you what bands you like and you answer two meters and seventy centimeters.
  • A bank clerk asks you to spell your name and you do so phonetically.
  • In a conversation, you wait for the Roger tone before speaking.
  • You hear a scraping sound when driving through multi-storey car parks.
  • A band opening is more important than a grand opening.
  • Sight-seeing on holiday amounts to looking at rooftops for antennas.
  • The radios in your car are worth more than your car.
  • When you walk out of the house you not only feel your pockets for your keys and your wallet, but also your hip for your handheld.
  • Your child's schoolteacher calls you on the phone to ask why your child identified countries on the world map as JA, ZL, VE, G, UA and XE.
  • If you refer to your house as "Ohm, sweet Ohm".
  • You're talking on the phone and end every sentence with "(callsign) this is (callsign), over".
  • Your prime criterion for a new car is that it have zero ignition noise.
  • You and your girlfriend/wife hike to the top of a famous mountain, but rather than enjoy the magnificent sunset and giving her a kiss, you fire up the Hand Portable to see how many repeaters you can hit.
  • You realize that you've been studying code too long because you try and find out who did it in 'Inspector Morse' by listening to the background music.
  • You look at the Pennine Mountain Range and try to figure out how to get an antenna mounted on the highest peak.
  • You look at the Severn Bridge and develop a plan to get it to resonate on 160 meters.



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    Kirt Blattenberger,

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