For All You Lexiophiles...
(Lovers Of Words)

Engineering & Science Humor - RF CafeThese engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

  • A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
  • What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • In a democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your Count that votes.
  • She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
  • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  • If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
  • With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
  • Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
  • When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
  • The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
  • Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
  • He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
  • Every calendar's days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted.' Taint yours and 'taint mine.
  • A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
  • He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
  • A plateau is a high form of flattery.
  • The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  • Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
  • When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
  • Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
  • When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
  • Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done.
  • Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

...from Steve - who else?