 These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Humor #1,
#2, #3
| Adjust schedule |
Slip schedule |
| Advise |
Order |
| Ambitious |
Unlikely |
| Aggressive |
Very Unlikely |
| Challenge |
Frustration; a dirty job nobody wants |
| Compatibility |
Impossibility (see "Transparent change") |
| Contribution |
Anything a manager likes |
| Controlled introduction |
Let the customer do the CA |
| Couldn't reach consensus |
Total disagreement |
| Critical path |
Something that only a short project can be on |
| Diagnostics |
Something that might give us a clue |
| Dynamic |
Unstable |
| Elevated to management level |
Dead |
| Encouraged |
Ordered |
| Encouraging process |
No tangible results |
| Exciting |
Frightening |
| Functionally complete |
Can do something that appears to work for any feature |
| Growth opportunity |
Learning experience |
| Helping people |
Telling people what to do |
| Historical |
Nobody remembers why |
| Inappropriate |
Stupid (see "Non-optimal" and "Stupid") |
| Individual contributor |
Regular grunt engineer |
| Interesting |
Bear in mind the Chinese curse "May you live in interesting times" |
| Issue |
Problem (see "Opportunity") |
| Learning experience |
Mistake (see "Growth opportunity") |
| Less than candid |
Bald-faced lie |
| Leverage |
Borrowing someone else's problem |
| New opportunity |
Surprise |
| Non-optimal |
Inappropriate |
| Opportunity |
Problem |
| Pessimistic |
Most likely to occur |
| Positioning problem |
No one will buy it |
| Power down |
Trip over the power-cord |
| Project transfer |
Start project over again |
| Quality |
Japanese; otherwise not well defined |
| Redirected |
In some contexts: cancelled; otherwise: start again |
| Resource constrained |
Not getting done (see "Time constrained") |
| Revision |
Same software version but from another tape |
| Richness |
Overwhelming complexity |
| Scenario |
Fairy tale |
| Significantly reduced subset |
Castrated |
| Stable |
Stagnant |
| Strategy |
What we tell ourselves we are going to do |
| Strong personality |
Intolerably obnoxious |
| Strongly encouraged |
Ordered on pain of death (see "Encouraged") |
| Stupid |
Incredibly stupid (see "Inappropriate") |
| Suboptimal |
Inappropriate |
| Tactical plan |
What our customers tell us we are going to do |
| Time constrained |
Already too late (see "Resource constrained") |
| Time frame |
A period of time in which something will not occur |
| Transparent change |
A change which introduces only subtle problems |
| We |
You |
...from the Inflection Point website
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