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Washington Post Mensa Invitational (erroneously so-called)

 

 

A lot of e-mails circulate claiming to present the "Washington Post Mensa Invitational," which is a collection of words that have had a single letter altered, added, or deleted to create a new word with a humorous meaning.

It first needs to be pointed out that according to the Washington Post, "It still hasn't stopped: With mystifying regularity, we continue to receive (often passed through several mailboxes at The Post) unsolicited entries to what's sometimes called the "Mensa Invitational." These manipulations are also a form of wordsmithing.

The Mensa Invitational may just be an urban legend, but it nevertheless has resulted in many very funny words. Here are a few of the ones I think are really good.

 

  • Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. (anon)

  • Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. (anon)

  • Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. (anon)

  • Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. (anon)

  • Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. (anon)

  • Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. (anon)

  • Decafalon: The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. (anon)

  • Guiltar: A musical instrument whose strings are pulled by your mother. (Frank Mullen III)

  • Governmend: Trying to fix everything through politics. (anon)

  • Fleezing: Running for your life, in the cold. (anon)

  • African Violent: How government blossoms on that continent. (anon)

  • Photographt: Using a fake ID to cash bad checks. (anon)

  • Electrocity: Using energy for war crimes and other evil purposes. (anon)

  • Republicant: "Small government" hypocrisy. (anon)

  • Democrant: Screaming about "unfairness" and "social justice". (anon)

  • Negligent: Describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. (anon)

  • Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. (anon)