Take a break from the
drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across
the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care
to censor "humor" with reproductive function innuendo and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn
of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page
to the e-mail link above.
Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3
A lot of e-mails circulate claiming to
present the "Washington Post Mensa Invitational," which is a collection of words that have had a single letter
altered, added, or deleted to create a new word with a humorous meaning.
It first needs to be pointed out
that according to the
Washington Post, "It still hasn't stopped: With mystifying regularity, we continue to receive (often passed
through several mailboxes at The Post) unsolicited entries to what's sometimes called the "Mensa Invitational."
These manipulations are also a form of wordsmithing.
The Mensa Invitational may just be an urban legend, but it nevertheless has resulted in many very funny words.
Here are a few of the ones I think are really good.
- Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. (anon)
- Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period of time. (anon)
- Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to
start with. (anon)
- Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. (anon)
Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone
layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. (anon)
- Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then,
like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. (anon)
- Decafalon: The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for
- Guiltar: A musical instrument whose strings are pulled by your mother. (Frank Mullen III)
- Governmend: Trying to fix everything through politics. (anon)
- Fleezing: Running for your life, in the cold. (anon)
- African Violent: How government blossoms on that continent. (anon)
- Photographt: Using a fake ID to cash bad checks. (anon)
- Electrocity: Using energy for war crimes and other evil purposes. (anon)
- Republicant: "Small government" hypocrisy. (anon)
- Democrant: Screaming about "unfairness" and "social justice". (anon)
- Negligent: Describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
- Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. (anon)