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MECA Electronics

Sure Signs that You May Need an Elmer

Engineering Humor - RF CafeThese tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3


An Elmer is the guy you go to, to ask questions about topics in Ham Radio that you don't understand.  In that vein, you know it's time for you to find an Elmer if...
  • Your friend tells you he has a new two meter radio and you figure one of the meters must be for SWR and the other for power out.
  • You hear a conversation on the low bands about CW and you think they're referring to a Dolly Parton concert.
  • You hear that someone won a 40 meter radio at a hamfest and you wonder how they are going to get something that large in their house.
  • You build a Morse code key out of Perspex and can't figure out why it won't key your radio.
  • You think the difference between short wave and long wave is the speed at which you move your wrist back and forth.
  • You're thinking about joining your other ham friends in the local ATV group because you own a Land Rover.
  • You think a collinear antenna can only be used with two amplifiers.
  • You think FM is the modulation type that came after EM, DM, CM, BM and AM.
  • You wouldn't mind getting into packet radio but no matter how much you practice you can't get the hang of sending those beeps and braps with your keyer.
  • You wonder what sound a short wave makes and why anyone would want to listen to one.
  • You think the repeater committee would be a lot happier if instead of talking about their cavities they just went to the dentist and got them filled.
  • You think a CW ID is the serial number of that latest Loretta Lynn album.

...by Jeffrey S. King, N1DJS
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    Kirt Blattenberger,
    BSEE - KB3UON

RF Cafe began life in 1996 as "RF Tools" in an AOL screen name web space totaling 2 MB. Its primary purpose was to provide me with ready access to commonly needed formulas and reference material while performing my work as an RF system and circuit design engineer. The World Wide Web (Internet) was largely an unknown entity at the time and bandwidth was a scarce commodity. Dial-up modems blazed along at 14.4 kbps while typing up your telephone line, and a nice lady's voice announced "You've Got Mail" when a new message arrived...

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