Real Newspaper Ads

These engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

Reportedly, these ads actually appeared in newspapers across the country.

Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8 years old. Hateful little dog.
Free Puppies: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel. 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
Free Puppies: Part German Shepherd. Part stupid dog.
German Shepherd: 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
Found: Dirty little white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out awhile. Better be reward.
1 Man, 7 Woman Hot Tub:$850/offer.
Snow Blower For Sale: Only used on snowy days.
2 Wire Mesh Butchering Gloves: one 5-finger, one 3-finger. Pair: $15.
Tickle Me Elmo: Still in box. Comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5L, auto. Excellent condition.
$6800 Cows, Calves never bred, also one gay bull for sale.
Nordic Track: $300. Hardly used. Call Chubby.
Bill's Septic Cleaning: We haul American made products.
Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club.
Georgia Peaches: California grown. 89 cents per lb.
Nice Parachute: Never opened. Used once.
Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour.
Exercise equipment: Queen size mattress and box springs. $175.
Joining Nudist Colony! Must sell washer and dryer. $300.
Lawyer says client is not that guilty. Alzheimer's Center prepares for an affair to remember.
Free To Good Home: Adorable black cat, spayed, front paws removed.
Open House: Body Shapers Toning Salon. Free coffee and donuts.
For Sale By Owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything!
Chester Drawers: Perfect for child's bedroom, six drawers, $50.

Webmaster:

Kirt Blattenberger,

BSEE - KB3UON

RF Cafe began life in 1996 as "RF Tools" in an AOL screen name web space totaling 2 MB. Its primary purpose was to provide me with ready access to commonly needed formulas and reference material while performing my work as an RF system and circuit design engineer. The World Wide Web (Internet) was largely an unknown entity at the time and bandwidth was a scarce commodity. Dial-up modems blazed along at 14.4 kbps while tying up your telephone line, and a nice lady's voice announced "You've Got Mail" when a new message arrived...

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