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15 Reasons Why a Slide Rule is Better than a Workstation

Engineering & Science Humor - RF CafeThese engineering and science tech-centric jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.

Humor #1, #2, #3

  • A Slide Rule doesn't shut down abruptly when it gets too hot.
  • One hundred people all using Slide Rules and Paper Pads do not start wailing and screaming due to a single-point failure.
  • A Slide Rule doesn't smoke whenever the power supply hiccups.
  • A Slide Rule doesn't care if you smoke, or hiccup.
  • You can spill coffee on a Slide Rule; you can use a Slide Rule while completely submerged in coffee.
  • You never get nasty system messages about filling up your entire paper quota with pointless GIF pictures for the root window.
  • A Slide Rule and Paper Pad fit in a briefcase with space left over for lunch or a change of underwear.
  • A properly used Slide Rule can perform pipelined *and* parallel operations. (Okay, you need a guru for this.)
  • You don't get junk mail offering pricey software upgrades that fix current floating point errors while introducing new ones.
  • A Slide Rule doesn't need scheduled hardware maintenance.
  • A Paper Pad supports text and graphics images easily, and can be easily upgraded from monochrome to color.
  • Slide Rules are designed to a standardized, open architecture.
  • You can hold a Slide Rule at arm's length, to hit the obnoxious person at the next seat over.
  • A Slide Rule is immune to viruses, worms, and other depredations from hostile adolescents with telephones.
  • Additional Paper Pads can be integrated into the system seamlessly and without needing to reconfigure everything.
  • Nobody will make you feel bad by introducing a smaller, faster, cheaper slide rule next month.

Based on an unoriginal Usenet post to uk.media.radio.archers by Mike Ellwood, June 1997.

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