 These engineering and science tech-centric
jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor have been collected from friends
and websites across the Internet. I check back occasionally for new fodder, but
it seems all the old content is reappearing all over (like this is). The humor is
light-hearted and clean and sometimes slightly assaultive to the easily-offended,
so you are forewarned. It is all workplace-safe.
Humor #1,
#2, #3
- Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the
747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river,
they were surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing
in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed at
Boeing....
- An Akron, Ohio man choked to death while trying to swallow a live, 5-inch fish on a dare. According to the
AP, three unidentified friends had called 911 to say that Michael Gentner had a fish stuck in his throat and was
having trouble breathing.
-
DETROIT, MI - One of the most bizarre airplane hijack attempts recently occurred on a flight from New York to
Detroit. A man jumped out of his seat, brandished a gun and declared, "This is a hijack, take me to Detroit."
When the stewardess informed him that the plane was already heading to Detroit, the man sat down without another
word. He was arrested immediately after the plane landed.
- TUCSON, Arizona - In order to prove that the schools are not safe enough for teachers or students, sixth
grade teacher Kathy Morris pumped a .38 caliber slug into her own shoulder in an empty classroom and claimed a
young Hispanic man had shot her. The 35-year-old Morris broke down under questioning and admitted she shot
herself, but not before classes were dismissed for the day and the entire neighborhood was searched. Morris has
also, apparently, been sending herself threatening letters, a sheriff's spokeswoman said. She is currently on
paid administrative leave pending an investigation.
- CAPETOWN, South Africa: "For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a patient dead in the same
bed every Friday morning" a spokeswoman for the Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters.
"There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive checks on the air conditioning system, and a
search for possible bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues." "However, further inquiries have now
revealed the cause of these deaths...
"It seems that every Friday morning a cleaning lady would enter the
ward, remove the plug that powered the patient's life support system, plug her floor polisher into the vacant
socket, then go about her business. When she had finished her chores, she would plug the life support machine
back in and leave, unaware that the patient was now dead. She could not, after all, hear the screams and
eventual death rattle over the whirring of her polisher". "We are sorry, and have sent a strong letter to
the cleaner in question. Further, the Free State Health and Welfare Department is arranging for an electrician
to fit an extra socket, so there should be no repetition of this incident. The inquiry is now closed." (Cape
Times)
- [AP, Mammoth Lakes] A San Anselmo man died yesterday when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski
area while riding down the slope on a foam pad, authorities said. Matthew David Hubal, 22, was pronounced dead
at Centinela Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's Department said.
Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors
from the lift towers, said Lieutenant Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to
protect skiers who might hit the towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and
Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been investigated that the tower he hit was the one with its pad
removed.
- Fort Worth, Texas is house filled with darkness, Jimmy Cooksey stormed out the door determined to one-up the
electric company, police said. "I'll show them," the man said, according to a police report. "I'll turn on my
lights."
Mr. Cooksey, standing in the bed of his pickup truck, used a homemade pole to try to connect the
breaker to the feeder box at the top of a light pole, police said. The plan backfired and pumped the
36-year-old backhoe operator with nearly 14,000 volts of electricity. Eight weeks later, recovering in Parkland
Memorial Hospital, Mr. Cooksey said "I lost my legs... I'm not really ready to talk about it. There's been a
lot happen to me." The late-night blast on Oct. 19 not only injured Mr. Cooksey, but also sparked several
small grass fires, ruptured a natural gas line and caused several transformers to explode. The injured man's
neighbors said they could hear his screams a block away.
...from the Voice One website |