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Things You'll Never Hear a Southerner Say
(trust me - I lived in North Carolina for 6½ years)

Take a break from the drudgery with some of these jokes, song parodies, anecdotes and assorted humor that has been collected from friends & from websites across the Internet. This humor is light-hearted and sometimes slightly offensive to the easily-offended, so you are forewarned. I have taken care to censor "humor" with overt sexual overtones (or undertones) and hateful tirades, so it is all workplace-safe. I have also tried to warn of any links that will result in audio clips so you can take appropriate precautions. Please send any potential candidates for this humor page to the e-mail link above.

Humor #1 | Humor #2 | Humor #3


  • Do you think I'm following that car too close?
  • I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex
  • Duct tape won't fix that
  • Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael
  • We don't keep firearms in this house
  • Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
  • You can't feed that to the dog
  • I thought Graceland was tacky
  • No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe
  • Wrasslin's fake
  • Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
  • We're vegetarians
  • Do you think my gut is too big?
  • Honey, we don't need another dog
  • Who's Richard Petty?
  • Give me the small bag of pork rinds
  • Make sure you use your turn signal at this intersection
  • Too many deer heads detract from the decor
  • Spittin is such a nasty habit     (I love this one!)
  • I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today
  • Trim the fat off that steak
  • The tires on that truck are too big
  • I've got it all on the C: drive
  • Unsweetened tea tastes better
  • Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams
  • Checkmate
  • Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
  • Dang, I meant to come to a complete stop at that stop sign
  • Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen
  • Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla
  • Nope, no more for me I'm drivin tonight



         Thanks to Steve for these.
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Read About RF Cafe
Webmaster: Kirt Blattenberger
    KB3UON

RF Cafe Software

RF Cascade Workbook
RF Cascade Workbook is a very extensive system cascaded component Excel workbook that includes the standard Gain, NF, IP2, IP3, Psat calculations, input & output VSWR, noise BW, min/max tolerance, DC power cauculations, graphing of all RF parameters, and has a graphical block diagram tool. An extensive User's Guide is also included. - Only $35.
RF system analysis including
frequency conversion & filters

RF & EE Symbols Word
RF Stencils for Visio

Product & Service Directory
Personally Selected Manufacturers
RF Cafe T-Shirts & Mugs

RF Cafe Software

Calculator Workbook
RF Workbench
Smith Chart™ for Visio
Smith Chart™ for Excel
Your RF Cafe Progenitor & Webmaster
Click here to read about RF CafeKirt Blattenberger... single-handedly redefining what an
                                 engineering website should be.

View the YouTube RF Cafe Intro Video Carpe Diem! (Seize the Day!)

5CCG (5th MOB): My USAF radar shop

Airplanes and Rockets: My personal hobby website

Equine Kingdom: My daughter Sally's horse riding website